Monday, November 17, 2008

what's been on my heart and mind lately

A small group of ladies have been meeting at my house on Tuesdays to study the book Idols of the Heart, by Elyse Fitzpatrick. At first, I wasn't too excited. I felt like I already knew this stuff..."yeah, we live in America, not India, so our idols aren't as visual, they're more discreet...I understand this." Those were some of my arrogant thoughts. I was even a little surprised when some of the ladies were really impressed, and started to wonder about their spiritual depth. However, as we have progressed deeper into the book, I've found myself being drawn in and recognizing some major areas that need work. "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" 1 Corinthians 10:12. Ironically, one of the themes in the book is sanctification. To quote the author, "Sanctification is the slow process of change whereby God transforms our hearts back into His image and likeness...God's Spirit works graciously, progressively, and relentlessly in us so that we 'gradually advance in holiness.'" God has been using this book and other things in my life to sanctify me. He is pointing out areas of my life that I value more than I value Him. Things that I desire more than I desire Him. C.S. Lewis said, " We are far too easily pleased." He compares us to a child making mudpies in a slum because he can't imagine what is it is go on a holiday to the shore. Somehow, I decide that sleeping in a little or spending more time on facebook will bring me more satisfaction than spending time reading the Bible. Even as I write this, I know that this will still be a struggle for me. I don't like mornings...but that is the best time for me to read the Bible without interruption. Yet time and again, I hit snooze and forfeit time alone with the Creator of my heart. Time and again, I decide to sit in this very chair and read the status updates of 356 friends--some of whom I haven't seen in over a decade and might not see in the next--rather than spend time fellowshiping with the friend who laid down His life for me. As I type this I am shocked by my own foolishness. Humbled by my own stupidity and selfishness...and in my ears, Tenth Avenue North reminds me of the truth that God knows every time that I fall and still loves me perfectly. He's faithfully at work in me, even when I am faithless. Amazing. I'm so thankful. "Come break me down with Your mercy" for cute stories about little boys, check back later! :)

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