I recently read a blog that pretty much said, in our attempts to seem all together, we really make each other feel worse. I know that personally when I see other moms who seem to have it all figured out, it does make me feel a bit bewildered and even, at my worst, like a failure. So with that in mind, I'm going to clear the air, in case you thought I had it all together, I definitely do not. Here are some confessions of mine, some things that might help you feel a little more normal, at least I hope.
My kids watch at least an hour of t.v. most days--from 5pm-6pm you can find them parked in front of the television watching Curious George and The Cat in the Hat on PBS. Often they tune in sometime before naptime as well.
I rarely get the laundry done--it's often in stages: piles that need folded, baskets that need put away, oops, what's that smell from the washer--I forgot to put that load in the dryer!
I never thought I'd homeschool and never liked teaching the younger grades. I even turned down a chance to teach kindergarten right out of college. Just not my cup of tea, but here I am teaching Jon kindergarten. When he told me the other day that he, "doesn't really like school." That was a real blow to my ego and sent me, eventually, to my knees. Thankfully, it's been a lot better since then and we're pressing on and I'm even excited about continuing.
I don't say this lightly, but I spend way more time reading blogs and wasting time on facebook than I do in the Word. I am so encouraged by my friends and other moms that are in the same boat as me, but that doesn't justify the amount of time I waste online. I need to practice some self-control instead of just asking my children to do so.
Speaking of self-control, I eat way too many cookies.
I love getting things delivered to my door and until very recently have been really bad at staying in the budget. Just ask my husband. It's nothing short of an act of God that he hasn't killed me yet!
I try couponing, but I'm not great at it. I think I could do much better, but honestly, with three boys under the age of 6 and homeschooling, I'm just not ready to put the energy into that it would require.
I'm terrible about sending birthday cards and thank you notes, much less anniversary cards and just I'm thinking about you cards. Even though I've probably written you one in my head.
I love being a stay at home mom, but there are days that I'm jealous of my husband who "gets" to drive in a car by himself, to go into an office and be around grown ups and eat a meal without having to share a bite with someone.
We started memorizing verses from ABC Bible Verses over a year ago and somewhere along the line stopped. We just started again last week. I'm so bad at following through on new ideas. (For example: the guitar that I have that I can't play, the quilt that I started 4 years ago that is just a few steps from finished, the boys scrapbooks which I'm so behind on...)
I'm terribly ungrateful for grace way too often. I am currently reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. God is using it to speak directly to my heart and teach me to count my blessings and recognize all of His gifts. This has been SO good for me. And even for my kids. We're starting to count things we're thankful for as a part of our daily circle time before school and then they're even telling me new things throughout the day. I know I've already said it on facebook, but I highly recommend this book. It's so full of powerful truths.
All these things said, and I could go on, I'm so thankful that He's not done with me yet. 2 Corinthians says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.